Down, but not out
Normalizing the emotional labour of caring about our planet
My first post for The Whale was about hope. I was in place where many people around me felt disillusioned and ready to lay down the sword for good. At that time I felt quite inspired and optimistic hence the push to reach for hope in times of darkness. I still feel that way and I am a firm believer that hope is a necessary requirement for movements.
However…
seeing the wildfires, navigating if I send my children to school based on air quality indexes and advocating to keep green space when it’s so clear that we need more of it not less has taken me down a notch or two…maybe three. And that’s an okay place to rest and rejuvenate. I’m down, but not out.
The point of this post is to start normalizing that the things we care about, the concern we have for our world and each other is emotional labour. It can bring anxiety, despair, anger, fear and hopelessness. This is a reasonable and rational response to world events. I mean the planet is on fire and those that hold the power to do something about it are mostly impotent. Of course, you’re going to feel all of those things!
But like glossy magazine or social media images that are not a reflection of reality, there is a myth of the ever hopeful, always engaged and never down environmentalist - you know the good ones. These people are the strongest of us, the ones whose teflon skin can take the weight of the world and like a Timex watch take a licking and keep on ticking. Keeping this mythology alive makes the rest of us feel like maybe we’re not cut out for this because we can’t manage some days, the tears flow with headlines and the anger at times is palpable. We’re too sensitive and just not strong enough to “hack it”.
I’m here to say that there is no one I know within the movement - even high profile members of national and provincial organizations - that can hack it like the myth suggests. Most of them put on a brave face to keep others hopeful and to maintain their image of a strong leader, but privately they weep and grieve and despair.
This is the dangerous part of it all. We hold up expectations of our “leaders” to be the ones with the answers, the ones that keep it together for everyone and use their example to highlight our own weaknesses and faults. The result is leaders who suffer alone and in silence who feel the pressure of always being okay and members of the movement who avoid taking on more leadership roles because they’re just not tough/strong/resilient enough to do it like the leaders. The self-flagellation based on a myth keeps everyone down.
I realized this one day after a rally speech that I did in Toronto. I have a natural fire in my belly (some say it’s the Dutch stubbornness, others say French Huguenot roots) that spills out in these types of situations. In short, I can seem more pulled together than I feel. Someone approached me and said how inspiring I was and thankful for my service. All very nice. But then came the, “I could never be like you” and “I don’t know how you can be so strong all the time because I’m just so sad and angry”. Not wanting for either of us to be trapped by the myth, I immediately corrected him to profess that I have down days and it’s hard for me too. In fact, the day before this rousing speech I cried after reading about people dying from heat waves in other parts of the world. He was shocked - literally his jaw dropped and his eyes popped out like plates. In the conversation that ensued I tried to give him hope and help him see that he’s not alone. Taking down the myth one person at a time.
On the whole I feel our society is emotionally stunted, so it’s no surprise to me that the desire to avoid or gloss over difficult feelings and hold up impossible emotional standards has infiltrated even the most compassionate movements. However, we can take small steps to take better care of ourselves and our community by first recognizing that this is hard and everyone struggles. Everyone.
I will likely spend the next few days talking to friends and family, looking for areas of hope or inspiration and taking care of myself. Eventually, I know this will pass. If it doesn’t with my interventions, then I will seek some professional support and help. I’ve done it before and I will do it again if I have to. I would encourage you to take the same approach.
The infallible person doesn’t exist. The planet is on fire! It is not reasonable to expect people to be able to just keep it together - especially those that are more prominently affected by the impacts or those that are doing the work and heavily engaged.
So take a break from media if you have to. Connect with others in positive ways. Engage more in self-care and seek help if you’re feeling down and out. It’s all okay and trust me, you’re not the only one.
“There is a crack in everything. That’s how the light gets in.” —Leonard Cohen.
Weekly News Digest - “The Blowhole”
Here are some emerging stories and events that we think will have an impact on our region that we’re keeping our eye on.
Taking Care of Yourself in Poor Air Quality - Many of us are new to knowing what to do when air quality is as poor as it is. Here are 7 tips of how to take care of yourself from the Simcoe Muskoka District Health Unit.
Speaking of Air Quality… - As many of you know, we’ve been in strong opposition to building the Bradford Bypass - an unnecessary highway that will destroy pieces of the Holland Marsh Wetland, Greenbelt and pollute the air and water for surrounding communities. Along with other groups, we are hosting town halls along the route to share our concerns and educate the public. Please share and attend if you can.
Who will be running the show? The provincial government has announced they they will be reviewing the governmental structure of Simcoe County and determining if the County level government is still needed. We feel that a regional government is very important especially to manage larger scale issues such as climate, water resources and planning. The County also provides critical services to smaller municipalities. After all, there is only one municipality in Simcoe County that has a population above 50,000 people (Barrie). The 17 others are fairly small with many of them having populations below 30,000. We will be keeping an eye on this developing story.
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Like what we talk about and want to engage with our coalition more? Check us out on social media or drop us a line if you’d like to volunteer: info@simcoecountygreenbelt.ca
It's so important to have this conversation and feel the feelings, as difficult as they are. Great piece and much needed today.
You bring me up a notch. Thank you for your eloquent insight into our green vision.